Dr Robert Chase

Busy and having a visitor

2007-02-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not writing that long (wow, it's nearly a month!), but I'm really really busy at the moment!
I will tell you later what all happened, but one thing I want to tell you now:
I have a visitor!
Monday, my birthday, by the way, he was there, what a surprise!
An old friend of mine, I know him since I don't know when, Joel Jefferson, here's a little picture of him:

Well, everything later, have to hurry up now, I'm sorry!

Sick and tired...of always beeing sick and tired

2007-01-17T04:55:00.000-08:00

Mood: tired
listening to: Presidents of the United States - Postman
Eating: nothing, still can't eat properly
Drinking: water, water and...water!

Gawd, I really feel like crap.
After all, I'm still in hospital. I feel just a bit better right now, getting antibiotics for the pneumonia and after my test for the Epstein-Barr-virus came back positive, it means that I have infectious mononucleosis as well. Great!
That means that my leukocytes are pretty much higher as normal (in my case 20.000 per mm³) and with around 75% monocytes and lymphocytes (normally they are about 35%).

Well, at least, we thought I would get antobiotics for the pneumonia...(mononucleosis isn't treatable, you can only treat the symptoms until the immune system defeated the virus)
But yesterday something happened!

Eric was unsure why I didn't feel any better. House was there as well.
"How are you?" Eric asked.
"Well, I don't really feel any changes since I got the antibiotics." I said, still choughing.
"I've seen Miss Granger working around on your meds while you were asleep." said House.
"Do you want to say that Ginny changed Chase's meds to placebos?" Eric asked and stared at him.
I could just at the two men standing in front of my bed.
"Could be possible, would explain why our little wombat here is still sick." House glanced over to me. "I'll run a blood test to check if there are any meds in his blood."
He took a syringe: "Give me your arm, please!"
A bit unsure I reached out my arm and felt the needle breaking my skin. Well, at least was House still used in doing that, so it didn't hurt as much as it did when Ginny came to took some blood.
The red liquid flowed into the injection.
"So, I'll be back!" House grinned after he handed me a dabber to put it on the puncture.
House left the room and left Eric and me there alone.

"What do ye think?" I asked Eric, "Do ye believe Ginger changed my meds?"
"I don't know. I just know that you got your medicine for five days and you aren't feeling any better." he sighed.
I nodded slowly and coughed again.

Some time later, House came back.
"Nothing!" he said.
"nothing?" Eric asked.
"Yes, nothing, no antibiotics!" he said again.
I let my head fell back into my pillow.
"I...I'll kill her!" Eric yelled, "She could have killed him! I'll fire her!"
"No, you can't fire her!" House replied.
"Why not?"
"Cause only I can. And I'll do!" he said, grinned and left the room.

"I can't believe it..." Eric shook his head. "I really liked her somehow. And now she tried to kill my boyfriend. Why did she do that?"
"I don't know..." I was confused, my head was aching and I just wanted to sleep. Well, Ginny and I had never been friends, but this was really not her kind of way to 'solve' problems!
"I'll bring you your real medicine." Eric said and went to the door. "You'll be better soon, honey! And I'll talk to 'Miss Granger' tomorrow!"
The way he pronounced her name let me know that she was in big trouble now...

Well, now that I get the real meds, I hope that I can go home soon or even back to work.
Eric told me that the last week had been a bit difficult, cause first House was sick, I am still sick and Eric and Allison had to work together all alone. And she still doens't talk to one of us after all.
That means it had been a horrible week for my boyfriend.
But I'm sure that the meds will work soon and that I'll feel a lot better within the next few days.
I think latest on next weeks monday I can go back to work.

Or maybe I can leave the hospital and get the few days rest at home.
I just can't sit here in my bed anymore, my legs and my back hurt like hell...
I need to get some movement!
I think I'll try to make a little walk through the hospital.
I'll write again when there is something new to tell, means if any changes will appear.

Even heaven cries...

2007-01-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

Mood: nostalgic
listening to: Monrose - Even heaven cries
eating: nothing at the moment, waiting for my chicken...
drinking: water, water, water...

I'm still in hospital, I'm still sick, I still have this cough....I wanne get outta here!
That really sucks!

But to lift up my mood again, I heard some music today.
And there was one song that really made me think about it.
It's from a german girl-group, as far as I know, called Monrose.
Well, here's their song, I really want to share it with you, cause it sounds quite good and the text is just worth thinking about...

Here's the text, by the way:

Haahahahaa

There are times when you feel
That you don't know where you fit in
So you hide
What is real
Even when it hurts to pretend
To be the one that you think
Everybody wants you to be
No one sees

Yeah
The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
Cause nothing needs to change
Sometimes it might seem hard
And your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you feel that way

Chorus:
Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's okay to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright (it's alright)

Cause even heaven cries

When you look
In the mirror
And you don't see picture perfect
What they say
Breaks your heart
And makes you feel
You're not worth it
Wanna disappear
Hide the tears
Still play and make believe
So no one sees

Yeah
The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
You're a miracle in everyway
Sometimes it might seem hard
And your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you hear the rain

Chorus:
Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's okay to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright (it's alright)

No you're not alone
Don't be ashamed
To let your feelings show
You should realize
You're special how you are
In time you're gonna see
You're gonna see

Haahahahaa

Don't you realize

Doc, I don't feel so good!

2007-01-08T07:28:00.000-08:00

Mood: still sick
Listening to: the sound of my keyboard
Eating: chicken sandwiches
Drinking: water

Okay, I'm in hospital again.
But not for work. As a patient.
What happened? Well, I can only repeat what Eric told me.
Cause at a point, I don't remember anything.
It happened on friday.
We were visiting House in his room, he was laying there for the anaphylactic shock.
I am (okay, was!) his attending physician, so I had to take care of him.

"I'm okay!" he yelled, "I wanna go home!"
"House, ye said that ye aren't feeling good, so I can't let ye go!" I said and tried to stay calm.
"Bollocks! I wanna go home!" he repeated, "It was just because of this damn cashews!"
My head was hurting and House's behavior didn't help much with that fact.
"House dammit!" I said after a while of discussing, "Don't behave like a little child! As yer doctor I can't let ye go as long as yer not feeling well for a 100%!"
"Then give me some medicine and I'll be okay again!" he replied.
"No, I won't give ye any more drugs!" I said and sighed.
"Any more?" he asked.
"Well, House, what did ye eat or drink today?"
"Coffee and i think about three Vicodin." he said.
"Vicodin doesn't count as food!" I said, "Sorry, House, as long as yer feeling sick; I won't let ye go!" I said again and left the room.

I went into the office and took a glass of water.
I needed another paracetamol, otherwise the headache would have killed me.
And the cough was still there. It was evene worse.

I heard a knock on the door.
Through the glass I could see Eric standing there.
"May I come in?" he asked carefully.
I nodded.
"Everything's okay with you?" he asked and went over to me.
I nodded again: "Yeas, everything's fine!"
"Don't believe you!" he said and looked at me. "You still have your headache, right?"
"It hurts just a bit, it's because of the stress" House doesn't want to listen to me, he just thinks I want to mock him!"
"But you are really a bit...well...bitchy today..." eric said carefully.
"Really?" I asked. "I'm sorry, I'm just pissed off! House doesn't want to stay here, okay! I can imagine, but I don't want to torture him, I just care about him as his doctor!"
"Tell him!" said Eric.
"That's what I did. Be doesn't believe me." I sighed.
"okay,let's better go back to him."

We left the office again and went back to House's room.
He was still sitting there on his bad and looked at me with anger.
"okay, House, if ye want to leave, ask a nurse and she let ye go... on your own risk!" I said and sighed again.
"Are you sick?" house just asked.
"What...? No, I'm not sick!" I said.
"Yes, you are sick" And that's why you are so pissy!"
"House, I'm fine! And now do whatever you want, leave or stay here, but as yer doctor, I would ye please to stay here."
I tried to make a step forward to his bed, but I made a false step ... everything was spinning up suddenly, I couldn't see clearly and then everything turned dark...

Eric told me that I passed out.
I fell down on the ground and didn't even move anymore, I didn't even breathe.
House himself had a late reaction of his anaphylactic shock: his tounge was swelling more and more till it's was hard for him to talk the right way.
Luckily, Edward Marks entered the room at that moment, so that he could take care of House while Eric tried to wake me up again, bootless...
He told me he finally had to intubate and that I had to stay on a lounge ventilator.

Sunday I finally woke up and today Eric wants to run some tests.
He was very pissed when he found out that no test was done yet, not even a simple blood test.
Now we are waiting for the results and Eric wants to take a closer look to my lounge later, cause of my cough and the breathing problems.

By the way, I am still sharing my room with House. He doesn't feel well yet and there are no other free rooms at the moment, so we had to share this one.
Lucky, we both have our laptops here.
And I still think House is afraid of me, cause first he didn't want to share his room with me.
But finally he agreed cause there was no other way.
And he's behaving a bit...strange, but I think that is a reaction to his medicine.
I think the next days won't be that boring...!

Trouble ahead

2007-01-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

Mood: sick and worried
Listening to: Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Snow
Eating: nothing...*grr*
Drinking: tea

Gawd, i've got a headache... It's terrible! And the cough I had during the last days haven't gone away at all.
Eric is near a heartattack cause he cares so much.
Whatever I say, he's always in a hurry to make me feel comfortable.
"Honey, do you want coffee? Or tea? Or a hot chocolate?" "Honey, do need something?" "Do you want something to eat?"
He's really cute, I must admit, but sometimes he behaves like a mother caring about her kid.

I just took my second paracetamol today, but it doesn't seem to work.
Maybe I should just go to bed again.
Gawd, everything is starting to spin around..
I really should have a nap right now.

But on the other hand I am a bit worried about Edo at the moment, you know, Dr. Edward Marks.
The comment he left on his blog doens't seem to be a quite happy one!
He's really a nice nice guy, but sometimes I think he just needs to be pushed a bit to remember that!
I think it would be a good idea, if he could work here in the PPTH (oka,y Eric will kill me for writing that)
At least I'm really glad to know him and to be a friend of him.
The change from Baltimore to Princeton will be hard enough for him...

Gawd, my head is really killing me... I think I should take another paracetamol now (the third today, I think)
I'll better be off now to get some sleep...

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

Mood: drunk
Listening to: Green Day - Wake me up when September ends
Eating: Crisps
Drinking: Cab - Lemon

So, this is it, we've got the year 2007!
Another year has passed and another one begins...
I think, this one is very special, it will bring many changes, don't know why, I just have a feeling like that...

Eric and I spent our New Year's Eve with House and Wilson at their place.
It was really funny.

Okay, I had to admit that my butt still hurts a bit (Eric wasn't happy about that, too, ehem...) but hey, it was just fair what House did.
okay, maybe Wilson should have had a revenge, cause it was him who had to cheer and threw the boxers, not House, but I think it's okay now.
And so we could make funny jokes about 'fart-cushions' and demolished chairs, red boxers and Cuddys angry face!

We had a lot of alcohol and nearly missed midnight, when we weren't able to open the bottle of champagne some minutes before.

But finally we managed to open it and filled our glasses with the clear sparkling liquid.
We cheered at each others and welcomened the new year with a kiss... I mean so did Eric and I and House and Wilson!

The sparkling bubbles streaming up in the glass respresented the past that was just gone, running up to the surface of the the champagne and went in the air.
Like the bubbles the past had gone away and the future is born in the air again, after the past passed on the surface of the drink, to see, what comes up next...

I felt Erics hand on my shoulder when I was staring into my glass, having these thoughts.
"Hey Honey, we want to see the fireworks outside, do you want to join us?" he asked me and smiled at me.
I just nodded and smiled back

We went outside and lokked into the dark sky with thousands of fireworks there.
One explosion followed the next and everything was covered with a shiny light of the red, blue and green rockets.

"It's wonderfull!" I mumbled and rested my head on Erics shoulder.
I could feel his arm embracing me.
"Yes, it is." he whispered and gave me a kiss on my hair.

After some minutes of watching the rockets and all that stuff that was blowing in the air in this night, we decided to go back into the apartement.

We had a lot of beer and listened to good music and i think we just "killed" six bottles of champagne!
Around one o'clock I think there was a time when we even fall sleep on the sofa... we really had a lot of alcohol...

We woke up around four o'clock I think and decided to go to bed... well, that means, that Wilson and House vanished behind the bedroom door and Eric and I stayed on the sofa.
Thank god that House has such a big sofa, otherwise it wouldn't had been possible for me and Eric to sleep on it in a more or less comfortable position!

We lay there, my head rested on his chest and glanced into the dark of the night.
"Honey...?" Eric started while he was crawling my head.
"hm?"
"i love you!" he just said.
"I love you, too!" I replied and looked at him.
"I think this will be a wonderfull year!" he said and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

I closed my eyes and got totally lost in this kiss.
I could feel his tongue parting my lips carefully and I replied the kiss...
His arms, which still embraced me, hold me closer to him and i could feel one of his hands moving over my back.
I couldn't resist to moan, when it switched under the shirt of my pyjama.
I could even see him smile in front of my inner eye.
His hands were moving over my back and my chest while I was still caught in his arms.
Slowly, very slowly, his hands moved deeper and deeper...

Well, let's say we had a nice morning and a wonderfull New Year! *gg*

And I hope youall had a very nice New Years Eve and managed it to come into the year 2007 very well.
Maybe you've been on a party? Maybe you've been with friends? Maybe you were even drunk? ;-)
Whatever you did, whatever you want to do this year: I hope that you'll have fun, that you'll be healthy and that all your wishes will come true, even if they seem to be too phantastic....! ;-)

A very special X-mas for me

2006-12-25T13:38:00.000-08:00

Mood: loved
Listening to: Melanie Thornton - Wonderful Dream
Weather: snowy
Drinking: champagne
Eating: dessert

First of all: I want to wish a merry Christmas to all of you!
Hope you'll get not too much presents, but the right ones! ;-)

Well, I wanted to tell you about last night...but just a short impression, I think! ;-)

The flavor of cinnamon filled the room and the calm light of about two dozen candles let the living room appear in a warm and peaceful ambience.
Eric and I were sitting on the ground, next to the small christmas tree we bought two days ago. It was draped with red and silver christmas balls and lights.
We had suppered and were really full (we had fondue with beef, poultry and pork, with different kind of dips and for dessert we had a kind of yoghurt-creme with fruits, it was just great!)
Sitting there my head on his shoulder, listening to a christmas cd, i thought that I#d never had a better christmas before.

I was feeling so happy like i'd never been since years, even before I lost both of my parent, I couldn't imagine to feel so much peace around.
I stood up and went to the bedroom.
"Stay where you are!" I called from there to Eric.
I opened the wardrobe and found what I was looking for: Under a pack of pullovers I'd hidden a small red envelope. My present for Eric! (no, not only the envelope! of course there was something IN it!)
I went back and sat down again.

"Merry Christmas!" I whispered in his ear and handed him the envelope.
He looked at me with eyes wide open.
"Thank you..."
He opened the envelope so carefully as if he could break it's content.
Two tickets fell into his hands.
"A flight to Germany next year, one week in Cologne, including a musical visit!" I smiled at him.
"but...how...?" He was really speechless and so cute!
"Don't know, remembered that you always wanted to visit Germany once, and so I thought that might be the right present for you!" I grinned.
"Oooooh, thank you, Hon'!" He embraced me and I fell to the ground.
"hey, hey, be carefull!" I smiled and gave him a soft kiss.
"I am always!" he smiled and winked.
"So...?" I just asked and grinned again.
"Yeeeeeees!" He stood up again. "Now it's time for your present, I think!"

No, I don't tell you what he gave to me, I think he'll do it soon! *hehe*
But I really liked it and I enjoyed the evening with him...

1 wedding and my funeral - Part 2

2006-12-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

Mood: exhausted
Listening to: Lazlo Bane - I'm no superman
Drinking: coffee, coffee, coffee!
Eating: Whatever I can find
Weather: No idea...

Okay, first off all: My head is killing me!
Got the strange idea yesterday to drink some vodka-orange...well alcohol and antibiotics are a very bad combination and after the, i think, sixth one i was absolutely drunk!
so I don't feel that good today...
But I wanted to go on writing about the marriage..

Well, I could see that Foreman became more and more drunk, and I worried a bit about him.
But Allison was still there and she didn't seem to want to go away.
"You are outside since more than half an hour! Are you going to talk to me again somewhen today?" she asked.
Ich tried not to roll my eyes. 'Yes: It's over...' I thought.
"Can we please go inside again!? I'm here with my boyfriend and I want everybody to see that!" She said, caught my sleeve and pulled me inside again.
I could just give a helpless glance to the others, bevor I saw myself standing on the dancefloor with Allison.
"Darling, please, dance with me!" she smiled and I just nodded. Well, If I had to...

After two dances, I told her that I had to go to the toilet and vanished behind the men's room door.
I took a deep breath. My good, this was all so...nerve-wrecking!
I tried to stay here as long as I could, but it would be obtrusive to stay on the toilet for half an hour.
So I decided to leave the bathroom again and went back to the others, which were still ouside on the balcony.

"There you are!" Allison smiled when I stepped outside.
Damn, why was she here, too? I tried to smile back.
"Have you been all the time on the toilet?" she asked.
"No, I wanted to have a new drink, but I couldn't find a waitress." I said and glanced over to Eric.
"Robert, you behave so different, today! What's going on? Sometimes I ask which whom you are together! With your guys here or with me!" She pouted.
"He has a relationship with you, as we all know!" Eric said angrily.
I caught his eyes and saw his pain and jealousy inside.
"Why are you that bitchy now?" she asked him.
"Why are you that bitchy the whole time?" Eric asked in return.
"Robert, could you please tell your best friend not to speak to me in that kind of way!?" Allison said to me.
I rolled my eyes. And I hate it, to be called Robert!
"Please, can you both stop argueing?" I just said.

Wilson went back into the restaurant and was caught by Cuddy who wanted to dance with him.
I'm not a very good dancer, I can do some stepps, and thats all, but Wilson was really good.
"He really can do it!" House said and stopped the fight between Cam and Eric.
"Compared to Chase, yes!" Allison said and glanced at me.
"Ehm...I come back later!" I said.
I needed a walk.

So I left the restaurant to the front door and made a few stepps. I don't know how long I've been there, I made some tours around the restaurant, when I finally saw two persons climbing outside a window. It must have been the mens room window.
I grinned, when I recognized House and Wilson.
It was funny to see House climbing!
I went to them and just said: "Caught!"
"Feck!" House said!
"Chase!" Wilson looked at me.
"Don't want to know why you are both climbing outside the men's room window, but I can imagen!" I grinned.
"okay, okay, now let's go back to the party!" House said. "And then, the patient..." he started, pretending to ralk about a case he had.
"Could it be Lupus?" I grinned.
"No, it's Never Lupus!" House answered
I could hear Allisons scream: "Chase! Where have you been!"
"Ehm..had a walk...with House and Wilson!" I said and pointed to them. "We had a discussion about a case."
"Was it Lupus?" she asked.
"No, it was not LUPUS!!!" House said angrily.
Eric and I smiled at each other.

Some minutes later, Allison took a look at her watch. "Darling, maybe we should leave soon, I'm a bit tired!"
I nodded. that would mean that is was time to tell her the truth.
House said suddenly: "Chase, remember, ypu promised to drive Foreman home!"
"Ah, yes!" I said an glanced at Eric.
"Why can't he call a cap?" Allison asked.
"Allison..." I started. I was searching for the right words, but I think there aren't any right words to say in such a situation. "I won't drive home with you..." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"What do mean?" she asked.
"he will drive Foreman home!" said House.
"And I'll stay with him!" I sighed.
"Please WHAT? Why that?" she screamed.
"Because Foreman and I...are... a couple. Since yesterday's night."
I could hear Allison's glas bursting on the ground.
She shook her head: "No...No that isn't true!"
"Cameron..." Eric started, but Allison interrupt him: "WHAT, ERIC???"
She made a step forwards to Eric. "You, you take away my boyfriend? And now I should listen to you? Never!"
"Cameron, I love him. And he loves me!" Eric said calmly.
"no, he doesn't!" she yelled and suddenly she raised her hand and hit him in his face.
I was shocked. What the heck was going on here? Eveyrthing was outta control!
"Cameron!" I yelled and grabbed her hand before she could hit Eric once more.
"You!" She stared at me "I'll come to you later!" She was in so much anger, I've never seen here like this before.

"Gawd, she's so bitchy...no wonder her boyfriend became gay." House whispered to Wilson.
"What???" Allison straed at House. If views could kill...I guess there'd been no less than four corpses on the balcony.
"It wasn't me who made Chase gay! It was Foreman, it's all his fault!" she yelled. "And Chase isn't gay!"
"Cameron" said Eric calmly. "I'm really sorry...but I love Chase!"
"That's what i do, you fucking asshole!"
Woha! was that really Allison? I was shocked about what was going on here.
"No, Eric Foreman, not Fucking Asshole!" I corrected her.

"Maybe we should discuss that somewhere els, everybody is already watching!" Wilson said and looked inside the restaurant where the most of the other guests were already lokking what was going on outside.
"I don't give a shit about what the other people think! DR ERIC FOREMAN, WORKING IN THE PPTH IS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND PROBABLY SLEPT WITH HIM ALREADY...!" she screamed as loud as she could.
"CAMERON!" we all four yelled at her.
"I didn't..I mean... we haven't slept with each other yet!" Eric tried to explain her, but she wasn't listening.
I could only hide my face in my hands...Gaaaawwwd....I thought.
House grinned a bit and Allison noticed that: "What?"
"Nothin'" he said.
"That's all your fault! You started it! And now Foreman and Chase want to try this..this thing, too!" she was still yelling in anger.
"First, stop yelling!" House said to her "This is our wedding and I don't want it to be destroyed by you!"
"I scream whenever I want!" she yelled at him.
"No! I never punched a woman, but you nearly reached the point when I would do it!" House said angrily.
Allison raised her hand again..and punched Eric in his stomach.
"Honey!" I rushed to Eric.
Wilson grabbed Allison. "Calm down!" he yelled.
"Let me be!" she screamed.
"Stop yelling!" said House and stared at her.
She breathed heavily. "Eric...I trusted you! And I consoled you when you lovelearned because of Chase! And then you'll take the first chance to take him away from me!"
"Cameron, no one does things like that on purpose!" House said. "You don't believe that Foreman just said: Ha, now I make Chase love me!"
"Who knows what comes to the mind of our super-neurologist!" she screamed.
"That's silly, Cameron!" Wilson interjected.
"But why is he doing this to me?"
"Allison, he didn't do anything to do, he just loves me!" I tried to talk to her, but she wasn't listening at all.
"Robert, you're just...confused!" she looked at me.
"No, Allison, I'm sorry, I love him! I'm so sorry for that date we had...it was as precipitous as our relationship!"
"Better than three precipitous marriages." Said House and smiled to Wilson. He grinned.
"i think I just wanted to disavow it, Allison! But now I can't anymore, I'm sorry!" I sighed again.
Allison shook her head: "This will have a repercussion!"
"What...what do you mean?"
"I do nothing...but i think monday at the PPTH everybody will know about you...including Miss Granger! You still have to go to this conversational therapy with her, right?"
"They just say that we could be a danger to each other! One more agrument and we'll be sacked on the spot!"
"I think Ginger will react in a very positive way, that she looses Dr Foreman on you of all people!" she smiled sneaky.
"Cameron! I know who'll be sacked when there are any rumors going around!" House said angrily.
"Everybody knows she has a crush on Foreman! And she hates Chase more than anybody else!"
"Who doesn't?" he just replied.
Okay, thank you House, that was what I needed above all that.

I felt more than uncomfortable and just wanted to run away.
Just wanted to be with Eric on a silent and calm place, where nobody would disturb us! (No, not do what YOU might think now!!!)
Eric sighed: "I'll talk to Ginger!"
"Okay!" Think of me when she cuts your eggs off!" Allsion said, turned around and entered the restaurant.

"It's over..." Eric said.
"Don't you have a TV at home?" House yelled at the staring crowd.
"There's a lot to see tonight..." I tried to smile, but it didn't work that well.
"I think we'll go home now!" said Wilson.
I just nodded and glanced to Eric.
He nodded, too.
"Thank's for the invitation. I think I'll never forget this evening!" I said and shook House's and Wilson's hands.
Eric and I went to my car.
"Chase...?" he said.
I turned around.
"I love you!" he said and gave me a shy kiss.
"love you, too!" I replied and smiled...

Well, that was my evening at the wedding, don't know if House and Wilson want to tell you more about it!
And for all of you who might think they know what Eric and I did after: No, we DIDN'T!!!

1 wedding and my funeral - Part 1

2006-12-18T05:55:00.000-08:00

Mood: nervous
Listening to: John cale - Hallelujah
Drinking: coffee
Eating: crisps
Weather: cloudy

Before I start writing about what happened on the wedding of House and Wilson, I wanted to tell you:
I'm back home! (since Saturday evening)
I'm feeling more or less okay, taking antibiotics against the encephalitis I had.
I still ahve to stay at home till Wednesday, to be sure, that I don't pass anyone else. God knows why I haven't Eric until now.
What happened later on that saturday after I was allowed to leave the hospital, I'll write later (who wants to get a little idea, take a look at my deviantArt!)
Now let's write abot last weeks saturday...

I put on my smoking and tried to avoid Allisons view. I felt shitty that I didn't told her yet what had happened the last night.
When she had asked me why I wasn't at home in the morning when she woke up, I just told her that I needed a midnight walk and met House, Wilson and Foreman outside.
After hours and hours of conversations, we decided to change to Erics place, because it became too cold to stay outside any longer! And that I finally fell asleep there...
More or less, that was the truth! I just let out some (okay, I must admit very important) details...

"Hey, how do you think do I look like?" Allison asked when she left the bathroom. She wore a really nice dress, I must admit, but after all i thought, that it didn't had the effect on me she might had wished for.
"Yeas, you're looking good!" I just said and tried to bound my bow tie.
"Thank you..."
Did she notice that there was something different on my mind? Or someone...!?
"Should I help you?" she asked when she saw me in front of the mirror, fighting with that bow tie.
"No thanks, I think I get this!" I said and finished the fight successfully.
"Are you ready?" she asked some minutes later when she had put on her shoes and jacket.
I just nodded, took my keys and my cell left the appartement.

"You're so quiet since the morning" Allison said during our way to the restaurant.
"hmhm..." I just mutteredand pretended to concentrate on the street.
"What's going on with you?" she asked.
"Nothin'. Please, I'm trying to drive!"
Allison folds her arms and looked straight on the street.

I sighed.
It was strange. I'd been happy with her for some time.
I really thought she was the one.
But time after time I realized, that there was something missing, something I couldn't explain.
I started to brood over my relationship, but since I couldn't explain what was that something or someone, that strange feeling of missing ... i tried to go on with my realtionship pretending to be happy.
Now I know that I was missing a special someone...

10 Minutes later, we arrived at the restaurant.
I parked the car and left it.
My stomach felt as if I'd had three rollercoaster rides with ten loopings each.
I glanced over the other cars and noticed a very familiar one, not far away from mine.
"Eric..." I thought.
I felt someone touching my hand. I smiled and turned around, but it was only Allison staring at me.
I tried to go on smiling, but somehow my face muscles seemed to be frozen.
Holding hands, we entered the restauant.

The first few hours went over and we were sitting on our places around the table.
Lunch was over and music was played, some couples danced to the sound of the band.
I sighted again.
During the meal Eric and I were searching each others eyes again and again.
Allison didn't seem to notice it.
I finally saw my chance, when House, Wilson and Eric stepped outside on the balcony.

"Excuse me a moment, please!" I said and stood up.
I followed the three men and stepped on the balcony, too.
"Hey Chase!" Eric smiled and gave me a quick kiss, after he made sure that none of the other guests was watching.
"Hey Eric!" I smiled in return.
House and Wilson were holding hands and drank champagne.
"Want some?" james asked and raised his glas.
Eric nodded: "Yes, I think, I'll need it today."
I grinned and nodded too: "One will be okay, I think, have to drive later, but till then there's a lot of time"
Wilson gave House a kiss on his cheeks and stepped inside again to get some more champagne.

"Gawd this evening is going to kill me!" I said and made a grimace.
"This evening or Allison?" asked Eric with a smile and he took my hand.
"Both!" I sighed and leaned against Erics shoulder.
"Did she say something?" he asked me.
I shook my head: "No. I think she didn't even notice anything! Lucky for us!" I sighed again.
Eric put his arm around me and gave me a hug.
"Come on, Hon', everything will be fine!"
"Yeas, after we were killed by my soon-ex-girlfriend!" I nodded.

Wilson came back on the balcony, carrying four glasses of champagn.
"Here they are!" he said and handed each of us one glas.
Eric took his arm off of me and took his glas. That was a perfect timing cause right at that moment Allison stepped outside to join us on the balcony.
"here you are!" she smiled.
"Yeas, here I am..." I said and tried to catch Erics eyes.
"I thought I wa shere with my boyfriend, but somehow he doesn't seem to want to spend his time with me!" she said a bit angry.
She also tried to be a bit sarcastic...but sorry, she really isn't!

Eric raised his glas and just said: "Cheers!" to help me not to answer that last sentence.
House, Wilson and I raised our glasses, too: "Cheers!"
Eric drank his whole glas within one draft.
"Eric, you are drinking alcohol?" Allison asked.
"Yes, I think I need it this evening." he said again and smiled. "Wohaa, that stuff works...!" he muttered.
"If you drink it all at once, of course!" She answered.
"That's my business!" he said a bit angry.
I could see his cheeks turning a bit red, he was already tipsy...

Later more, have to....ehm...stop now!

Meeting in the snow - and a happy end!

2006-12-14T07:24:00.000-08:00

Mood: confused
Listening to: nothin'
Eating: I'm not hungry...
Drinking: water
Weather: still no idea

While i'm in hospital, I have the time to go on writing about friday!
So, where did I stop...?
Ah, well....

"Did you ever love me, Chase?"
I stared at the ground, avoid to meet Erics eyes.
"Chase?" "hmhm..."
"I won't break your neck if you say no!" He grabbed my shoulder. "BUT..." He had something in his eyes that made clear that he was absolutely serious: "I want to hear the truth! Please don't tell me any lies!"
I nodded slowly.

I tried to make an answer, but my mouth was too dry, my throat seemed as if it doens't want to make any noise.
I croaked something.
"Did you?" asked Eric again.
Finally I managed to create a single sound...
"....y...yes..."
"But..." Eric seemed to be a bit shocked "But why did you date Cameron after all?"
"I...I don't know...!"
"You even started a relationship with her on the same evening!" He stared at me.
"Everything was so...so confusing..." I didn't know what to say anymore.
"That was the reason why I was so angry!" he screamed.

Suddenly we heard a scream yelling all over the forest: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What the heck?" Eric looked around and listened.
"Hm? What...?" I stared at him and tried to listen in the night, too, but now there was silence.
"Nothing, I thought I heared House..." Eric said.
I shrugged my shoulders and lokked back on the ground again.

"So what are we going to do, DownUnderHairWonderBoy?" Eric asked me.
"This name will always follow me, won't it?" I laught.
"Definetly!" smiled Eric.
I smiled, but then I tried to become serious again.

"Eric, ...I...I am so sorry..." I whispered.
Eric took a deep breath: "Chase..." He was searching for the right words to say.
"Would you... Do you want to..."
"What...?" I made a step forwards to him.
"would you like.....ehm....together...with me.....!?"
I looked into his eyes and nodded very, very slowly.
"Does that mean yes? DOES THAT MEAN YES???" Eric screamed.
I nodded again.
He jumped forward and wraped his arms around my neck.
We smiled at each other and Eric finally said: "I love you!"
We closed our eyes and I could feel his lips softly touching mine...

We smiled again at each other, when we stopped kissing.
Suddenly, Eric was terrified.
"Oh gawd, the wedding's tomorrow!" he realised.
"Yeas, right." I took a look at the watch and corrected: "Today..."
"How can I explain this here to Cameron?" Eric asked me.
"Good question!" I nodded "Think we should try to explain this to her together! If we try to do it alone, seh'll kill us!"
"That's gonna be alot of fun..." Eric said.
"I mean...can we do this to house and Wilson? I mean it's their wedding and we are going to ruin the evening with my fucking breakup with Cameron!" I went a few steps to the next tree and kicked against the bole: "I think we'll have to wait till saturday evening when the party's over..."
"Or we never start something that..." I interrupted Eric, gave him a kiss and said: "Don't even think about it!"
He kissed me back and smiled: "Wanna go home?"
I nodded and he took my hand.

It was a strange feeling, I must admit. But somehow I knew it was "right".
House and Wilson were already gone, they packed their stuff together and made their way back.
Eric and I went to my car. Before I could open it, Eric stopped.
"Wait a sec!" He said and suqted in the snow. He painted some lines in the snow and after he stood up again, he smiled.
I went back to him, to see what he had drawn.
It was a huge heart and written in it was "C+E". "Had to be!" he said and smilet at me.
I grinned back and gave him another kiss.
"What a pity that it will only last till next snowfall..." I said and opened the car...

It's just a cold....!?

2006-12-14T05:50:00.000-08:00

Mood: sick
Listening to: the sound of the machines
Eating: nothin'....
Drinking: water (don't get any coffee at the moment!)
Weather: the blinds are closed, don't know

Okay, before I go on writing about last friday, I wanted to tell you something ongoing!

Eric and I had a great evening yesterday, even though I had a cold, I felt very well with him.
But later something changed, my cough got worse, and started to shiver, and my head and throat ached like hell.
I moved into my bed and wanted to sleep, but suddenly I got dizzy and I saw everything twice...
Eric wanted to call 911 to sent me to the PPTH, but I shook my head: "I'm fine...."
Another fit of coughing tossed me... I really felt shitty...

"Come on, I help you to put on your cloth and then I'll call 911!" said Eric and helped me to stand up.
I was so damn weak, I couldn't bearely move.
He called 911 and came back in the sleeping room. "You have double visions, don't you?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay..." I lied. But the evening was spoiled already...great!
"Hey; I can see it in your eyes!" He sat down in front of me and took my hand. "Come on, I called the ambulance, they'll be here in a few mintes."
He embraced me with his arms, to stop me shivering, but the ague was too strong.

When my door bell rang, Eric jumped up.
I tried to stand up... and noticed that I couldn't.
"What the heck...?"
Whatever I tried, I couldn't move my legs!
Eric came back and the paramedics followed him.
I looked at him in fear... "Eric....I can't move...."
He looked at me and just nodded, he didn't know what to say.

The paramedics got a strechter and carried me out of my apartement.
"Eric...." I whispered "please...don't leave me alone..."
"I won't leave you alone, I promise!" he said and took my hand when we entered the ambulance vehicle.
I didn't care about the sideglances one of the paramedics gave us, I just felt so tired.... and then a heavy darkness paralyzed me....

The next thing I remember is waking up here in the PPTH...
I'm happy, Eric brought me my lap, otherwise I wouldn't be able to write, so it's not that boring...

Meeting in the snow - Part 3

2006-12-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

Mood: anxious
Listening to: Collin Hay - Overkill
Drinking: Coffee
Eating: nothing (but I'm hungry as always)
Weather: still snowing

Eric went in front of me until we reached a small lake. The water was nearly complete frozen, only in the middle of it left a bit water that wasn't covered with ice.
The stars reflected in the cat ice and let the screnery appear like pure magic.

Eric stood there, his face showed in the direction of the lake. Slowly he turned aroun.
"Chase..." he started.
"Yeas...?" I asked and wondered what would happened next.
"I love you!"
I didn't know what to say or do. I was paralised and could just stare at Eric. 'What? How can that be?'
Thoughts were running through my head, pictures appeared in my mind, pictures of what happened some weeks ago and I felt my mouth became totally dry.

"And I'm damn sure about that!" Eric stared back, directly into my eyes.
I tried to nodd, but somehow, my body didn't react like I weanted it to.

"You are... so... damn cute." he went on.
"Eric..."
"I love it that you always stay 45 minutes in the bathroom.
I love it how you're making coffee.
I love it, that you're always sitting on the kitchen table, even if the chair is right next to you!"
At that moment, I couldn't avoid a little smile.
I remembered the first time Eric saw me sitting on the table and his weird look when he noticed me there.
"I love the way you're lokking at me and when your eyes start sparkling then."
I glanced in his eyes and tried to smile a bit.
"The way you're doing it right now!"
I looked back on the ground. 'Damn idiot!' But I couldn't resist to look back at him, noticing that his eyes were fixing me.

"I even love the way you're chewing on every pen that you can find! And I love the smell of your hair when you used your strawberry shampoo..."
I nearly started laughing. Don't know why, but somehow most people notice something abou my using of pens or about my hair, but that Eric would do that,,,

"Eric, I...I...I just don't know what to say..."
"I even love it when you react bitchy when you are in a bad mood!" he went on without listening to the words I said.
I smiled again a bit.
"I just love everything abou you!" he took a deep breath.
"But on the other hand... I hear things
about you, I didn't even want to know...." he ended.

I stared at him. What did he say?
"What....what do you mean...?" I stammered.
"Is is...is it true that you...tried to kiss House and...and..." He stopped and his body was shaking as if he would try not to cry.
"What???" I was shocked!

Again, there came pictures up in my mind, House and I sitting there in this bar, I rember that fifth Mojito I had... and then a long period of nothing but darkness... the next thing I could remember was Eric arraving at the Hemingway's, making his way through the crowd over to House and me...

"No! No! I mean... I can't remeber anything like that! Really!"
Eric took a deep breath.
"Really, you have to believe me, please Eric!" I looked at him begging.
"You can't remember anything?" he finally asked.
"No..." I shook my head.
"Can you remeber US?" he asked and stabbed me with his eyes.
I nodded slowly.

It was weird, but from the moment, Eric joint us that evening, everything was clear in my mind. More than just clear....!

"So did you ever really love me, Chase?" Eric asked me...

Meeting in the snow - Part 2

2006-12-11T12:42:00.000-08:00

Mood: still cold
Listening to: Depeche mode- enjoy the silence
Drinking: coffee
Eating: sandwiches
Weather: still snowing

While we were sitting there, House and Wilson kept cuddling the whole time and whispered to each other.
I got the strange feeling that they were talking about me.
I saked Foreman: "Do you know what they are talking...?"
He shook his head: "No."
"Seems to me like they are comprassing something."

Suddenly Wilson raised up and looked at Eric: "Foreman, wanna go for a walk?" He shrugged his shoulders and nodded.
"We'll be back soon!" said Wilson and kissed House once more. Than they left.

House and I left there all alone.
I looked above into the sky.
I felt a bit uncomfortable beening here alone with House and I couldn't avoid the feeling that he was observing me.

"What?" I finally asked.
"Nothing! What's going on with you? Don't loomk at me the way you're doing at the moment!" he answered angry.
"You are watching me!" I replied and felt the anger coming up.
"I'm just carefully!" He said and slipped a bit away from me.
"Why that? Don't be silly!"
"You exactly know what I mean!" Said House with a mixture of anger and fear in his voice.
"No, I don't know!" I really had no idea and still don't know...
House mumbled something into his beard and a heavy silence lay down over the glade.

After a few minutes I looked to the forest where Wilson and Eric had vanished.
"They take a lot of time, don't they?" I asked.
House mumbled again: "They are talking, that takes time!" He finally replied.
I nodded, but somehow I still worried about them.
"Is there some coffee left?" House asked.
I handled him the coffeepot.

Suddenly a loud scream yelled all over the forest:
"UUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I jumped up and was on my feet. "Was that Eric?" I asked House and fixed the trees in front of us.
"Yes, but this was just our screaming therapy" he said and sipped on his refilled coffee cup.
I still worried and felt some uneasiness.
"Sit down!" House said angrily.
Without taking my eyes off the forest, I sat down again... on something warm and softish...

"Get off of me!" screamed House and pushed me away.
I jumped up. "I'm sorry!!" and sit down on my old place, again.
That was the moment when Eric and Wilson appeared again.

"Heh, Eric, how are you?" I asked. He looked terrible, as if he had cried.
"Can we talk?" he asked me and his voice was quaking.
I nodded slowly and went behind him back to the forest....

Meeting in the snow - Part 1

2006-12-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

Mood: cold
Listening to: Collin Hay - Waiting for my real life to begin
Drinking: Coffee
Eating: Sandwiches
Weather: snowing

OKay, what happened last friday? I think that this is the most burning question for most of you, isn't it? Okay, I think I'm going to write about it now

Late at night, I had a more then restless feeling and wanted to go out for a walk.
Allison and I were already at Point Pleasant and shared a hotel room.
She was already asleep, when I raised up again.
I took a look at the watch: the red light on the display of the alarm-clock showed almost 2 o'clock.
I searched my clothes together and put on my jeans, my shirt and a warm sweater.
"Where the heck are my socks...?" I searched under the bed and finally foudn them there.
Allison was still sleeping. I believe only an earthquake could wake her up when she has fallen asleep once.
After putting on my boots, I took my coat and left the room.

Ouside the hotel I took a deep breath and enjoyed the cold air.
My breath built small clouds in the dark night.
The sky was clear and lots of stars had been seen.
Near the hotel was a small forest, the top of each tree covered with snow.

I mad emy way over there to the forest.
It had snowed some minutes ago, so my feet sank deep in to the fresh snow on the ground.

After I entered the forest, I suddenly noticed some voices.
I wondered who else would stay awake at this nighttime and went on.

Some meters in front of me was a grace.
When I approached , I finally recognized the voices I heard.
"good evening, Dr House and Dr Wilson!" I said ehen I reached the glade.
"Oh Chase!" House lokked up to me and didn't seem to be that happy to see me.
"Oh hi Eric!" I said, when I finally realised, that he was there, too.
"Hi Chase...!" he answered.
The three men were sitting in the snow on some sleeping bags.

"Ehat are you doing here, Chase?" Wilson asked.
"I needed a walk!" I said.
House and Wilson shared a sleeping bag and I think they were sitting in there cuddling.
House reached out his hand to take his red coffee cup and sipped on it.
"Wanna sit down?" asked Eric and pointed next to him. I nodded and sat down.
"Coffee?" Wilosn asked and I nodded again.

"Where is Cameron?" asked House and rised one if his eyebrows.
"Sleeping." I said and took my cup of coffee from Wilson.
I took a sip and felt the warm liquid running down my throat. From the inside of my stomache the warmth seemed to run through my whole body.

Wilson looked up into the sky and watched the stars. House put his arm around him and lokked up, too.

I think I'll write more later, have some things to do now!
And I know how hard it will be for some people to be patient till I write my next post! ;-)

Just a photo

2006-12-10T13:55:00.000-08:00

Mood: giggly
Listening to: John Cale - Hallelujah
Drinking: tea (still no coffee here)
Eating: cookies
Weather: too dark to see

I just wanted to show you a picture that was taken yesterday, on the marriage of House and Wilson, it shows Foreman and me (who else?)

I think we look good in suits, don't we?

A short summary

2006-12-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

Mood: happy
Listening to: The Smashing Pumpkins - Daphne Descends
weather: dark and snowy
drinking: coke (there is no coffee left)
Eating: chicken sandwiches

Okey, I think I don't need to intruduce myself, so I just start writing a short post about what happened in the last few weeks.

As you might have read on D House's and Dr Wilson's Blogs, we have new members of our team since a few weeks, Dr John Dorian and Dr Elliot Reid from The Sacred Herat Hospital, California, and Nurse Ginger Granger. They should help us with our lab-tests and so on.

Well, I have to say that they really do a quite good job, but let me say it that way: I have some...personal problems with Miss Granger here.

Let me say that our first meeting wasn't that happy! (It had something to do with her very...ehm...impressing front end...ehem) And she tried to strangle me with my stethoscope... for that moment I really can say that our (of course just professional) relationship is a bit difficult.

Well, after some upcoming happenings we have to visit some therapies about problems with working couples! (no, we are not together!!! God, If had to to spend more than ten minutes with her in the same room, I think I would kill her! Just as she tried with me)

I think it's gonna be a hard time during the therapy-lessons with her...

And then there was Cameron... yeas, we had a relationship...had? Yeas, we split up.
I just wanted to tell you... i will write about this later...

And yeas, I'm in love with another person...maybe you guess who? No, it's still not Ginger, it's not Dr Reid... you know this person and I know him for a long time, too... (I think it must be about three years, now).
Him? Yeas, exactly, it's a man. It's Foreman!

After some...ehm...experience during one of our evening with a lo's of alcohol, we thought that it was just a short episode in our life, just a "nice evening and we never try it again".
I mean, just kissing a guy isn't thwat worse, isn't it?

But at least, some things came up, we didn't expect and now... yeah, now we're actually quite happy!

BUt more about this later, I just wanted to write a short summary.
It's a bit longer now, but hey, who cares?