Sick and tired...of always beeing sick and tired

Mood: tired
listening to: Presidents of the United States - Postman
Eating: nothing, still can't eat properly
Drinking: water, water and...water!

Gawd, I really feel like crap.
After all, I'm still in hospital. I feel just a bit better right now, getting antibiotics for the pneumonia and after my test for the Epstein-Barr-virus came back positive, it means that I have infectious mononucleosis as well. Great!
That means that my leukocytes are pretty much higher as normal (in my case 20.000 per mm³) and with around 75% monocytes and lymphocytes (normally they are about 35%).

Well, at least, we thought I would get antobiotics for the pneumonia...(mononucleosis isn't treatable, you can only treat the symptoms until the immune system defeated the virus)
But yesterday something happened!

Eric was unsure why I didn't feel any better. House was there as well.
"How are you?" Eric asked.
"Well, I don't really feel any changes since I got the antibiotics." I said, still choughing.
"I've seen Miss Granger working around on your meds while you were asleep." said House.
"Do you want to say that Ginny changed Chase's meds to placebos?" Eric asked and stared at him.
I could just at the two men standing in front of my bed.
"Could be possible, would explain why our little wombat here is still sick." House glanced over to me. "I'll run a blood test to check if there are any meds in his blood."
He took a syringe: "Give me your arm, please!"
A bit unsure I reached out my arm and felt the needle breaking my skin. Well, at least was House still used in doing that, so it didn't hurt as much as it did when Ginny came to took some blood.
The red liquid flowed into the injection.
"So, I'll be back!" House grinned after he handed me a dabber to put it on the puncture.
House left the room and left Eric and me there alone.

"What do ye think?" I asked Eric, "Do ye believe Ginger changed my meds?"
"I don't know. I just know that you got your medicine for five days and you aren't feeling any better." he sighed.
I nodded slowly and coughed again.

Some time later, House came back.
"Nothing!" he said.
"nothing?" Eric asked.
"Yes, nothing, no antibiotics!" he said again.
I let my head fell back into my pillow.
"I...I'll kill her!" Eric yelled, "She could have killed him! I'll fire her!"
"No, you can't fire her!" House replied.
"Why not?"
"Cause only I can. And I'll do!" he said, grinned and left the room.

"I can't believe it..." Eric shook his head. "I really liked her somehow. And now she tried to kill my boyfriend. Why did she do that?"
"I don't know..." I was confused, my head was aching and I just wanted to sleep. Well, Ginny and I had never been friends, but this was really not her kind of way to 'solve' problems!
"I'll bring you your real medicine." Eric said and went to the door. "You'll be better soon, honey! And I'll talk to 'Miss Granger' tomorrow!"
The way he pronounced her name let me know that she was in big trouble now...


Well, now that I get the real meds, I hope that I can go home soon or even back to work.
Eric told me that the last week had been a bit difficult, cause first House was sick, I am still sick and Eric and Allison had to work together all alone. And she still doens't talk to one of us after all.
That means it had been a horrible week for my boyfriend.
But I'm sure that the meds will work soon and that I'll feel a lot better within the next few days.
I think latest on next weeks monday I can go back to work.

Or maybe I can leave the hospital and get the few days rest at home.
I just can't sit here in my bed anymore, my legs and my back hurt like hell...
I need to get some movement!
I think I'll try to make a little walk through the hospital.
I'll write again when there is something new to tell, means if any changes will appear.

Even heaven cries...

Mood: nostalgic
listening to: Monrose - Even heaven cries
eating: nothing at the moment, waiting for my chicken...
drinking: water, water, water...


I'm still in hospital, I'm still sick, I still have this cough....I wanne get outta here!
That really sucks!

But to lift up my mood again, I heard some music today.
And there was one song that really made me think about it.
It's from a german girl-group, as far as I know, called Monrose.
Well, here's their song, I really want to share it with you, cause it sounds quite good and the text is just worth thinking about...



Here's the text, by the way:

Haahahahaa

There are times when you feel
That you don't know where you fit in
So you hide
What is real
Even when it hurts to pretend
To be the one that you think
Everybody wants you to be
No one sees

Yeah
The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
Cause nothing needs to change
Sometimes it might seem hard
And your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you feel that way

Chorus:
Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's okay to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright (it's alright)

Cause even heaven cries

When you look
In the mirror
And you don't see picture perfect
What they say
Breaks your heart
And makes you feel
You're not worth it
Wanna disappear
Hide the tears
Still play and make believe
So no one sees

Yeah
The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
You're a miracle in everyway
Sometimes it might seem hard
And your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you hear the rain

Chorus:
Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's okay to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright (it's alright)

No you're not alone
Don't be ashamed
To let your feelings show
You should realize
You're special how you are
In time you're gonna see
You're gonna see

Haahahahaa

Don't you realize

Doc, I don't feel so good!

Mood: still sick
Listening to: the sound of my keyboard
Eating: chicken sandwiches
Drinking: water

Okay, I'm in hospital again.
But not for work. As a patient.
What happened? Well, I can only repeat what Eric told me.
Cause at a point, I don't remember anything.
It happened on friday.
We were visiting House in his room, he was laying there for the anaphylactic shock.
I am (okay, was!) his attending physician, so I had to take care of him.

"I'm okay!" he yelled, "I wanna go home!"
"House, ye said that ye aren't feeling good, so I can't let ye go!" I said and tried to stay calm.
"Bollocks! I wanna go home!" he repeated, "It was just because of this damn cashews!"
My head was hurting and House's behavior didn't help much with that fact.
"House dammit!" I said after a while of discussing, "Don't behave like a little child! As yer doctor I can't let ye go as long as yer not feeling well for a 100%!"
"Then give me some medicine and I'll be okay again!" he replied.
"No, I won't give ye any more drugs!" I said and sighed.
"Any more?" he asked.
"Well, House, what did ye eat or drink today?"
"Coffee and i think about three Vicodin." he said.
"Vicodin doesn't count as food!" I said, "Sorry, House, as long as yer feeling sick; I won't let ye go!" I said again and left the room.

I went into the office and took a glass of water.
I needed another paracetamol, otherwise the headache would have killed me.
And the cough was still there. It was evene worse.

I heard a knock on the door.
Through the glass I could see Eric standing there.
"May I come in?" he asked carefully.
I nodded.
"Everything's okay with you?" he asked and went over to me.
I nodded again: "Yeas, everything's fine!"
"Don't believe you!" he said and looked at me. "You still have your headache, right?"
"It hurts just a bit, it's because of the stress" House doesn't want to listen to me, he just thinks I want to mock him!"
"But you are really a bit...well...bitchy today..." eric said carefully.
"Really?" I asked. "I'm sorry, I'm just pissed off! House doesn't want to stay here, okay! I can imagine, but I don't want to torture him, I just care about him as his doctor!"
"Tell him!" said Eric.
"That's what I did. Be doesn't believe me." I sighed.
"okay,let's better go back to him."

We left the office again and went back to House's room.
He was still sitting there on his bad and looked at me with anger.
"okay, House, if ye want to leave, ask a nurse and she let ye go... on your own risk!" I said and sighed again.
"Are you sick?" house just asked.
"What...? No, I'm not sick!" I said.
"Yes, you are sick" And that's why you are so pissy!"
"House, I'm fine! And now do whatever you want, leave or stay here, but as yer doctor, I would ye please to stay here."
I tried to make a step forward to his bed, but I made a false step ... everything was spinning up suddenly, I couldn't see clearly and then everything turned dark...

Eric told me that I passed out.
I fell down on the ground and didn't even move anymore, I didn't even breathe.
House himself had a late reaction of his anaphylactic shock: his tounge was swelling more and more till it's was hard for him to talk the right way.
Luckily, Edward Marks entered the room at that moment, so that he could take care of House while Eric tried to wake me up again, bootless...
He told me he finally had to intubate and that I had to stay on a lounge ventilator.

Sunday I finally woke up and today Eric wants to run some tests.
He was very pissed when he found out that no test was done yet, not even a simple blood test.
Now we are waiting for the results and Eric wants to take a closer look to my lounge later, cause of my cough and the breathing problems.

By the way, I am still sharing my room with House. He doesn't feel well yet and there are no other free rooms at the moment, so we had to share this one.
Lucky, we both have our laptops here.
And I still think House is afraid of me, cause first he didn't want to share his room with me.
But finally he agreed cause there was no other way.
And he's behaving a bit...strange, but I think that is a reaction to his medicine.
I think the next days won't be that boring...!

Trouble ahead

Mood: sick and worried
Listening to: Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Snow
Eating: nothing...*grr*
Drinking: tea


Gawd, i've got a headache... It's terrible! And the cough I had during the last days haven't gone away at all.
Eric is near a heartattack cause he cares so much.
Whatever I say, he's always in a hurry to make me feel comfortable.
"Honey, do you want coffee? Or tea? Or a hot chocolate?" "Honey, do need something?" "Do you want something to eat?"
He's really cute, I must admit, but sometimes he behaves like a mother caring about her kid.

I just took my second paracetamol today, but it doesn't seem to work.
Maybe I should just go to bed again.
Gawd, everything is starting to spin around..
I really should have a nap right now.

But on the other hand I am a bit worried about Edo at the moment, you know, Dr. Edward Marks.
The comment he left on his blog doens't seem to be a quite happy one!
He's really a nice nice guy, but sometimes I think he just needs to be pushed a bit to remember that!
I think it would be a good idea, if he could work here in the PPTH (oka,y Eric will kill me for writing that)
At least I'm really glad to know him and to be a friend of him.
The change from Baltimore to Princeton will be hard enough for him...

Gawd, my head is really killing me... I think I should take another paracetamol now (the third today, I think)
I'll better be off now to get some sleep...

Happy New Year

Mood: drunk
Listening to: Green Day - Wake me up when September ends
Eating: Crisps
Drinking: Cab - Lemon


So, this is it, we've got the year 2007!
Another year has passed and another one begins...
I think, this one is very special, it will bring many changes, don't know why, I just have a feeling like that...

Eric and I spent our New Year's Eve with House and Wilson at their place.
It was really funny.

Okay, I had to admit that my butt still hurts a bit (Eric wasn't happy about that, too, ehem...) but hey, it was just fair what House did.
okay, maybe Wilson should have had a revenge, cause it was him who had to cheer and threw the boxers, not House, but I think it's okay now.
And so we could make funny jokes about 'fart-cushions' and demolished chairs, red boxers and Cuddys angry face!

We had a lot of alcohol and nearly missed midnight, when we weren't able to open the bottle of champagne some minutes before.

But finally we managed to open it and filled our glasses with the clear sparkling liquid.
We cheered at each others and welcomened the new year with a kiss... I mean so did Eric and I and House and Wilson!

The sparkling bubbles streaming up in the glass respresented the past that was just gone, running up to the surface of the the champagne and went in the air.
Like the bubbles the past had gone away and the future is born in the air again, after the past passed on the surface of the drink, to see, what comes up next...

I felt Erics hand on my shoulder when I was staring into my glass, having these thoughts.
"Hey Honey, we want to see the fireworks outside, do you want to join us?" he asked me and smiled at me.
I just nodded and smiled back

We went outside and lokked into the dark sky with thousands of fireworks there.
One explosion followed the next and everything was covered with a shiny light of the red, blue and green rockets.

"It's wonderfull!" I mumbled and rested my head on Erics shoulder.
I could feel his arm embracing me.
"Yes, it is." he whispered and gave me a kiss on my hair.

After some minutes of watching the rockets and all that stuff that was blowing in the air in this night, we decided to go back into the apartement.

We had a lot of beer and listened to good music and i think we just "killed" six bottles of champagne!
Around one o'clock I think there was a time when we even fall sleep on the sofa... we really had a lot of alcohol...

We woke up around four o'clock I think and decided to go to bed... well, that means, that Wilson and House vanished behind the bedroom door and Eric and I stayed on the sofa.
Thank god that House has such a big sofa, otherwise it wouldn't had been possible for me and Eric to sleep on it in a more or less comfortable position!

We lay there, my head rested on his chest and glanced into the dark of the night.
"Honey...?" Eric started while he was crawling my head.
"hm?"
"i love you!" he just said.
"I love you, too!" I replied and looked at him.
"I think this will be a wonderfull year!" he said and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

I closed my eyes and got totally lost in this kiss.
I could feel his tongue parting my lips carefully and I replied the kiss...
His arms, which still embraced me, hold me closer to him and i could feel one of his hands moving over my back.
I couldn't resist to moan, when it switched under the shirt of my pyjama.
I could even see him smile in front of my inner eye.
His hands were moving over my back and my chest while I was still caught in his arms.
Slowly, very slowly, his hands moved deeper and deeper...



Well, let's say we had a nice morning and a wonderfull New Year! *gg*

And I hope youall had a very nice New Years Eve and managed it to come into the year 2007 very well.
Maybe you've been on a party? Maybe you've been with friends? Maybe you were even drunk? ;-)
Whatever you did, whatever you want to do this year: I hope that you'll have fun, that you'll be healthy and that all your wishes will come true, even if they seem to be too phantastic....! ;-)